Wednesday 3 November 2010

Willy Wanker


Wicked William Wonka has today being exposed as a child-molesting monster. After years as Wonka’s loyal aide, Charlie Bucket has turned his employer’s world upside down with revelations including:

• PORN stars dressed as Oompah Loompahs during BIZARRE sex games.
• Acts of BESTIALITY as Veruca Salt was MOLESTED by depraved squirrels.
• Violet Beauregarde MURDERED after she spurned his AMOUROUS advances.

Wonka had previously been the darling of the chocolate world, singlehandedly destroying both Nestle and Mars with his ambitious and creative sweets and chocolates. Who could forget the excitement which greeted the launch of Everlasting Gobstoppers and Whipplescrumptious Fudge Delight? But after years of tantalising our tastebuds, Wonka has left a particularly bad taste in the mouth.

In a News of the World exclusive, Bucket describes how their relationship soured over his grandparents’ incontinence and a spoiled batch of Fizzy Lifting Drinks. The feud has now spilled over into the public arena as we bring you the lurid truth about Wonka’s foul fantasies, his predatory paedophilia and his predilection for pre-pubescent ‘poppets’.

The truth behind Bucket’s stratospheric rise to the top of the Wonka organisation is also revealed for the first time, as he describes how the perverse pleasure Wonka took in undressing him and forcing him to graze on peppermint grass led to increasingly risqué activities – culminating in Charlie being forced to consume candy from Wonka’s ‘bucket’ in return for a 49% stake in the company.

See pages 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, 11 and the centre pages for more on the story which has rocked the UK – including: Augustus Gloop blaming his bulimia on Wonka, the Golden Ticket grooming scam, ice cream cone sex toys and details on how you can access some of Wonka’s secret home videos at NOTW.com.

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